Given.Up

i thought i was mentally prepared but i guess not. I went to ask again if i could do 4U and he rejected saying they were looking for 70+ people. I know my average is bad, but he thinks thats the best i can do, that my standard is only up to there. So 4U for sure is not a question, when i went to ask i started busting in tears again, and then aully who went with me, held my hand all the way, tried to stick up for me, but she ended up crying herself, so the two of us were just standing outside the toilets crying. Im crying all the tears out now, so i dun have to be depressed later, the shit thing is his also my math teacher, i can't even look at him now without busting into tears. I sound like a major nerd crying over 4U math, but i guess it can't be helped. Sorry for disappointing all the people who believed in me. I feel bad to my parents who spend heaps for tutor, i hoped that if i got into 4U they would be more proud of me, but now i can't even get in, no matter how much i wanna do it, maybe im just not smart enough. if i try doing it, maybe ill pull everyone down as well. and i don't want to do that. i realised that i can't always get the things you want, if its gonna mean ill pull others down with me.