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today was a really bad day for me. the beach outing was completly fail, to the extend that i felt like crying. I don't kno where to start so excuse me for ranting on. But its probaly over between us after today. He brought a friend along, and all they did was talk, when i tried talking to him, it would accually only last about 10 seconds. depressing huh? and heaps of people are encouraging me to let it go. But i guess deep down i still feel like i have hope, maybe when i hear it from him, 'i don't like you', then i would accually finally get over it, probaly after a few tears and all. But some people are like, guys are also shy, thats why i tried really hard to talk to him, but he didn't even try make a effort. so its over i guess? arghhh this is really depressing, but ill save my tears till when there's accually evidence that its over. Yeh i kno, i sound really desperate and shit but -______- apparently we're going out again on saturday to watch up. so ill see how it goes...

to make the day worst, today was the SHITTEST day to go beach, no sun and it was freezing, so in all, it was a fucking depressing day -_____-