Holidays

sleep at 4am
wake up at 4pm
eat w.e is in the fridge
computer
dinner
computer
*repeat :)

RWAR:

Hey guys :)
havnt blogged in ages, so i decided to drop in, will probaly be abit busy the next few weeks beacause of assignments etc.
Update of my life so far? ;) :

20.11 Went to a friends party, hot guys too bad they're taken );

21.11 Study with the family as per usual, Michael and Ceewing @ West Ryde, don't think we got alot done

23.11-25.11 SRC Lostock Camp x) heaps fun, besides the FKING FLIES! and bugs, cow shit etc everywhere lol

28.11 Went study again, with ceewing, quyen and michael + friends, met nice and new friends xP

1.12 Currently bludging even tho her assignment is due on wed, but hey my internet kept disconnecting so i couldn't do it, but she promises, she'll get all the info she needs tomorrow and turn off her internet so she can finish it (Y) GOAL: not to pull a all nighter for once xD

As you can see my life isn't that interesting right now.
Future Plans:
FIND A FUCKING JOB TO PAY FOR ALL THE EVENTS ETC!
5.12Jig studying to go to Henry's Party, probaly wont stay long since my english assesment is on Monday P1

6.12 Probaly makeup lessons for tutor D:

9.12 Math extention 1 assesment PA

10.12 Math assesment PA....again T_T

11.12 Japanese Assesment

12.12 Aully, Crystal, Daisy and Grace's party. Semi formal (see why i need money? not to mention all the god damn presents)

16.12 NOT GOING SCHOOL, ONLY GOT ONE PERIOD xD CBF!

22.12? Saaya Moira, Beckie Party

24.12 BBQ with my girls at riverside <3

22.1 QUYEN HONEY'S 18th. More dress shopping

i just realised now u can stalk me lol, well this can be my reminder timetable if i forget what i have planned ;P

anywayz im off to bed, fuking caught a cold i think -_________-

hmmmmmmm;

sorry dear blog for visiting u after soo long ♥

but i've been pretty grumpy lately probaly abit from the weather too. Sigh im so fed up with everything right now ><;; and i get pissed easily lol so its bestyou don't piss me off x) gah this stupid weather is like OMG! so frkn hot! >=|


and im going camp on monday...yeh to some farm for THREE days in this HOOOOT weather ...gahh! and ill probaly have to take my homework there so i don't miss out.
according to the math teacher, the three days which ill be away, we're going to go through ALL of integration in like what?...3 lessons? -_________- he probaly meant basics, but knowing him who gives out a shit load of homework, ill have heaps to catch up on. SIGH!


anywayz thats whats happening in my life so far, nothing worth talking about lol
gdnites ♥

;

feels incomplete or as if somethings wrong.

Reality;

i never realised what reality was until now. Ever since ages ago, i always thought 'hey if we just laugh it over everythings going to be fine'. I never realised how serious things were until now, when im more concious of issues around me. I don't want to boast about my family being happy because all family's have they're sad moments, but i have to say, compared to others, im.....well not going to say fortunate, but hmmmm.....you get my point.

Back then i always thought depression was just something that you could get over, i never realised how serious depression could lead to, even know im not really sure of what depression can mean or lead to. I myself, do not think i have gone through depression, yeah i sometimes whine about 'Im depresssed' but really its just issues LOL

I havnt been through serious depression myself, so sometimes im lost in words when my friends come to me about it, all i can do is just sit there and listen, i don't want to say anything accidently that might hurt their feelings. And to be straight im not going to go with the cliche 'you have to love yourself' , but should be at least like ourselves a little xP .

Friends and Families are there for a reason, to support you, but maybe sometimes you just want to think alone, cry for no reason, be upset over yourself for crying over nothing. I cant force a friend to talk to me if they don't want to, and i would probaly start crying, which i will also be upset for crying beacause of sympathy, where comparing to the accual problems is nothing and may sometimes seem insulting to the person. Im not a expert in this, but i don't want people to bottle it up, because one day, it'll explode, and it may be a crucial moments. If you feel like you're not ready to talk to a friend, maybe you can write it out, like in a blog (for me, my blogs are where i rage about issues i have), or write a letter and not accually send it. I know im blabbling on about nothing, but yeh =\ , just don't keep it inside of you, you don't always have to act strong as if nothings is wrong. Not everyone is strong nor independent, sometimes you havta lean on others that are there to support you.

well i think i stopped blabbling, so im off to shower and bed so i can go study tomorrow with ceewing darling, Sister Michael and My honey quyen.

gdnites swtdrms to the people who read this blog...oh and if you feel unloved...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥STELLA LOVES EVERYONE! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

xoxo

Happy;

im not gonna rage today in my blog, after jeremy tried to do a impression of my raging while writing my blog xD it was pretty funny tho. And no jeremy im not raging right now x)

i went max brenner today with jackie, carthy and aully. AND omg the CHOCOLATE ♥ *droooooooool*

so yeh we were overloaded on chocolate but it made me feeel better after all the shit thats been going on. Chocolate is my new drug to get out of depression xP but ill also get fat D: ....but meh xD

and and and.... me and aully got new eyeliner, its the gel one, that you apply with a brush x) its so nicceeee~ i also discovered buying makeup also makes me happy xD

i also realised i had to change my tutor class =[ and i liked my tutor class. oh well ill try get the same time slot so i can still see people. x]

but yeh i havta get into the hw-ing, since me and aully promised to do our hw when we got home xD so ill ttyl, if not ill prob blog tomorrow

its.over;

Today i had math period 1, dispite my tummy hurting for 2 days i still went to class, i was thinking of leaving after math when the teacher told me to see him at lunch, he said it was best i see him at lunch, so i had a glimpse of hope that he had finally let me into 4U under a contract. I called my dad to tell him not to call the school, but only an hour later, my teacher comes to find me in period two.

He said that there are 10 other people with higher marks then me and only aorund 4 spaces free, if he was to let me to ext 2 then what are the other students going to say, at that time i was too shocked and out of it to say anything, But you kno what? he was probaly bullshitting, and i don't care if im wrong but i just wanna rant about it.
Yes there are 10 other people above me with better marks, but do they want to do ext 2? also last time i heard there was only about 15 doing ext 2 so how did the extra 5 come about? -______- , he knew that the only way he can deny me from doing ext 2 is saying that there isn't enough space in the class. Then this idea came up, the only reason he claims that isn't allowing me to do ext 2, is that there's not enough spaces, what if i was to do it outside of school, and just sit in for the assesments, like do it at tutor or something. But then i realised he's probaly not going to let me, cos you need a certain amount of hours for each course, so right now i have no hope. If it makes you any happier, im not crying :) yes im sad about it and i really want to do it, but really there isn't hope, so im just gonna do WELL in ext 1 so i can kick his ass and be like in fking face, mind the language.
Really theres nothing i can do >_>

Useless;

Why am i so useless? i gave the letter to the teacher, and he prob only read the first sentence of each paragragh. He just gave the letter back, saying extension 2 isn't stressful its just.... meaning that im probaly too dumb to do it. When he says things like that i start thinking that im probaly really dumb. I kno that some people out there don't think i can do it either.

I don't kno whats wrong with me. I don't normally cry that much over 4U math as well. I have heaps of reasons in my head that i always think i have the courage to say to him. But as soon as i see him, and when he says i can't do it, i start losing confidence and can barely stop myself from crying. extension 2 right now is a forbidden topic for me, cos i start crying everytime it gets mentioned (not to that extent) but you get what i mean. I want my parents to call up, but they don't even kno what to say. Theres a parent inteview in week 3 and it's probaly gonna be too late then.

Right now i don't kno if im crying cos i really want to do it or just so i can get some sympthy. I don't kno, im a mess right now. And like jennifer said its nothing to be crying over, i should be strong. The moment i cry means im giving up. But i can't help to. It really hurts =[ when he says my level isn't high enough to do extension 2 math. But i've really grown into liking extension 2 math. i can't say that i wont drop it during the year, but right now im really postive that i can do it. So why can't you give me a chance? If i do get 4U (doubt it) ill look at these posts the past dew days so i can gain the motivation back. But i really doubt at this rate ill get it. i feel like im pulling everyone down, i was so confident that ill do it, but now im scared that ill get bad marks and pull everyone down. I kno im contradicting myself compared to what i said in the lines before. But like i said im a mess right now. I don't kno what to do. I have amazing people standing beside me supporting me, telling me not to cry. I don't even kno why im crying....

Celebrate;

WOOOOO today i got new brushes for makeup and a new eye lash curler....thats HEATED! xD
its my treat to myself, although i havnt achieved much, been late 2 times this week already, but i've been writting notes for english ALREADY! =D proud? keke
Im gonna give the letter from my rentz about 4U tomorrow, lets hope this works, its the last resort, although i wrote the letter cos my rentz are hopeless at eng ><;; but thanks to my sis's for editting it. LOVE YOU GUYS HEAPS PURE BLONDE(cwing) AND FAT SLUTTY BITCH (michael) so wish my luck everyone. anywayz i couldn't wait, before trying the new brushes so ill show you, and also my hair cut, although u can't really tell i cut it ><;; so you guys can have a look at my pics while i go off to bed.

Gdniteswtdrms darlings ♥
enjoy~ xx

Family.Outing

Not quite a outing but we're all talking on msn :)
we came up with nicknames
mine: Violent mother of Stars (Stellar Nursery :] )
Michael Sis: Fat Slutty Bitch (ate too much timtams? x] )
Ceewing Darling: Pure Blonde (she proved it herself in the msn convo trying to own michael xD)

then we started talking about who's emoticon was whose and all that Sh.....i mean Stuff. Cant swear me and michael made a swear jar :]

bwahha now me and michael changed our names to cwing's msn name and are pretending to be her :D Memories of our fun time are on my fb album :) cant upload it here, can't see it properly x(

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2697928&id=545193381

ima off to bed now gdniteswtdrms darlings ♥

The.Choice

Alright i've made a choice, im gonna keep trying for 4U. This time since the teacher isn't willing to listen to me, then i'll get my parents to write a letter. and prob go for an interview. Either way i can't back down now, if i drop out in 4U then he'll be able to say 'i advised you before' and if i didn't get in and did bad in 3U then he'll be able to say 'i made the right choice to not letting you do 4U'.
But since my parents arnt that good at english, i have to write it. Any idea's on what to write? cos i could really need your help, for those who accually read this lol

So im prepared to work hard for it, so if you see me playing around, kindly advise me to study more x) but im responsible, ill try my very best to control myself. I wont quit facebook completly, but ill stop playing the apps so it doesnt waste my time xD

Given.Up

i thought i was mentally prepared but i guess not. I went to ask again if i could do 4U and he rejected saying they were looking for 70+ people. I know my average is bad, but he thinks thats the best i can do, that my standard is only up to there. So 4U for sure is not a question, when i went to ask i started busting in tears again, and then aully who went with me, held my hand all the way, tried to stick up for me, but she ended up crying herself, so the two of us were just standing outside the toilets crying. Im crying all the tears out now, so i dun have to be depressed later, the shit thing is his also my math teacher, i can't even look at him now without busting into tears. I sound like a major nerd crying over 4U math, but i guess it can't be helped. Sorry for disappointing all the people who believed in me. I feel bad to my parents who spend heaps for tutor, i hoped that if i got into 4U they would be more proud of me, but now i can't even get in, no matter how much i wanna do it, maybe im just not smart enough. if i try doing it, maybe ill pull everyone down as well. and i don't want to do that. i realised that i can't always get the things you want, if its gonna mean ill pull others down with me.

Not.Giving.Up

when you read the tittle you would think im still not over him, but no fortunally its not about him. But unfortunatly its still something im really really upset about.
Today i went to ask my teacher if i could do 4U math next year. He said no straight off. Cutting me off everytime i tried explaining. Not only was that rude im also really pissed. Uncontrollably i started crying, ALOT! my eyes were red, my nose was red, i had hiccups, my makeup smudged, and i looks ugly -__________- not that im pretty to start off with but anywayz

Since he said i couldn't do it, and since im stubbon, im going back tomorrow to talk to him. This time i wont let him cut me off (hopefully) my brother told me he forgot to tell me to be mentally prepared. Well i wasn't today but i think i am now, i managed to type this without crying, im just angry right now. Im gonna prove to all the people out there im not dumb and that i will try hard in 4U and kick everyone's asses. Ok maybe not EVERYONE but ill do good in it, so i can be like in your face to my teacher later. I regret not deciding to do 4U earlier, leaving it to the end of term is abit to late. My average wasn't that good, but i believe i can accually do it, i mean common, im starting to like complex numbers ;P . so everyone wish me luck, getting into 4U, and lets hope i dun end up in tears again.
So fuck you, Machette im gonna prove to you i can do it so you kiss my ass! >=|

...alright now that i wrote that i HAVE TO get into 4U otherwise ill hide under my blanket in a corner FOREVER ><;;

oh to conclude with some accual good news, i bought the new ipod nano today. It sexy cos its blue xD but with my own money T________________________T

I.Dont.Care

nice song, plus it relates to me right now xD



♥

The.Past;

Is home after coming back from quyen's house x)

we had SOOOOOOOOO much fun =D too much to write in detail but a general overview? First we went to city to buy resources for our fun x) which we took too long, then we went back to quyen's house and made a CAKE! chocolate one too xD but i had to go to tutor so i left for awhile, and the ones left, quyen, sakura and annabelle, attempted to have a nap but kept laughing. On the way back to quyen's house from the station, QUYEN drove us :O we were half way back when she got a call, and you kno wat she did? she picked up the phone -_____- while driving tsk tsk but we had to go back for moira, and the whole trip home we were holding on for our dear lives. When we got back, we had pho xD in curtesy to quyen's mum, it was sooooo yummy, true viet pho xD after making our cake VERYYYY cool by decorating with smarties, we went onto making our shirts x) it took SOOOOOOOOOO LLOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGG! but we finished =D we then set our beds out and went onto playing poking while the scary movie loaded, moira didn't kno how to play but kept follow our chips and she ended up winning :O then she had a 'im too good' face lol and we're like never take her gambling, otherwise she wont stop after shes won once. Around 5 me and quyen went to sleep while they were watching a scary movie, me and quyen went for a 6am jog like we said we would..........................but mentally xD in the morning me and anna had to cook breaky as well -_____- cos they all wanted to eat instant noodles which is UNHEALTHY! But yeh if you think this is long, i only went through the basics of what we did x) AND we took zzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn pictures x)

If ur wondering about my last blog, im fine xD after quyen's sleepover i forgot about it =D yeh its about time ill forget about him, and i think im already am, although i always say that but yeh. Its yr 12 soon, so i wont see him, nor will i have the time to think about him, im too young to waste any more time on one guy xD in around 10 years or so ill have the rest of my life to do that. so wish me luck this time x)
ill upload some photos later, only cos quyen hasn't sent me photos yet

------------

'in the past, i loved you'

Tears;

1.46am
cried over a guy for the first time
what's more sad is that its one sided.
thankfully it only lasted for a mintue or so

But i have a special dedication to (my sister) Michael
thanks for staying with me and cheering me up. Love you heaps ♥

Shit

it gets worst and worst, he cancelled on saturday, saying he had to helo out with granny smith festival or something, but he told michael and not me, jeez he must hate or some shit. Michael said he was probaly feeling awakard....about what? -_____- maybe he thinks im mad at him from beach. or he just wants to avoid me.
well whether his helping out for not i dun really care right now. But i might go granny smith with michael and quyen anywayz cos i was about to plan it for saturday. I can't exactly say going has nothing to do with him, but meh.

oh and to make things bad, i was burning something for annabelle, and while i was 'burning' the stuff onto the dvd turns out it was accually burning -_____- cos it froze, my dad removed it by pulling it out, and you could smell the burnt stench. So now i havta stay up on my bro's doggy laptop to burn it -____- fuck!
anywayz lets hope my mood cheers up cos im going quyen's house tomorro to sleepover. But im gonna lack sleep -_____- 6 hrs yesterday and probaly another 6 hrs tonight and on thurs night i prob wont even sleep sigh.

< / 3

today was a really bad day for me. the beach outing was completly fail, to the extend that i felt like crying. I don't kno where to start so excuse me for ranting on. But its probaly over between us after today. He brought a friend along, and all they did was talk, when i tried talking to him, it would accually only last about 10 seconds. depressing huh? and heaps of people are encouraging me to let it go. But i guess deep down i still feel like i have hope, maybe when i hear it from him, 'i don't like you', then i would accually finally get over it, probaly after a few tears and all. But some people are like, guys are also shy, thats why i tried really hard to talk to him, but he didn't even try make a effort. so its over i guess? arghhh this is really depressing, but ill save my tears till when there's accually evidence that its over. Yeh i kno, i sound really desperate and shit but -______- apparently we're going out again on saturday to watch up. so ill see how it goes...

to make the day worst, today was the SHITTEST day to go beach, no sun and it was freezing, so in all, it was a fucking depressing day -_____-

Another.Normal.Day

Am i suppose to be jumping with delight that he came back into my life, or should i be depressed, knowing that he'll probaly leave soon like he always does. So right now im confused -_____-

but on the note BEACH PARTY TOMORRO~ WOOOOOOOOOO and he'll be there, i was abit shocked when he agreed D: but yeh, lets hope the weather is heaps nice tomorro x)


her tummy is currently rumbling waiting for her parents to bring back food D: is resisting the snacks, cos she needs to look after her body for tomorrow, or in general lol

since im bored, i think i might try playing dota again xD bye for now~♥

Yet.Another.Wonderful.Day

CHYEAAAAHHHHHH~~~~~~~! got my braces taken off today x)
it felt so gross when he first took it off D: it was like slimy and i felt like i had no teeth lol
but he stuck a wire behind my bottom teeth and if i open wide enuff u can see it =[ and it feels weird, not used to it D:

i also got my hair cut with cwing today x) at stratty
the place was called hair love and OMG it was so pretty, look elegant and expensive but it was pretty cheap x) and yeh ima gonna dye my hair tonight x)
ill upload pics later with my 'new' look but prob when i can be bothered x)

thats all i have to say right now xD

back after dyeing her hair ^^
turned out a nice colour, kinda how i wanted it, but i think i might have bought the temporary one D= one the box it says 6~8 weeks SIF! lets hope it doesn't wash out that much x) oh and im proud to say i LOVE MY HAIR CUT! it looks like my old hair which i always wanted back xD

My letter to the sky♥

Dear Pretty Rain
I know your sad and all, so its better if you cry all your tears out today and hope you get well over the weekend and by monday so dear sun can come out on play, his very sad cos his been covered by your friends the clouds. Cheer up and ill love you forever ♥

Dear Oh Mighty Wind
You've been working hard these days to provide us with wind and you know what? i think its time you go on a holiday, preferbaly by monday. I know you love us all and love to work hard, but i really think you should have a holiday xD, Mrs.Tides gets all pms-ing when you work too hard, and the little sand don't like it either, when it's forced to whip other people on the legs so ill even find a place for you to go on holidays....anywhere out of Sydney. Hope you take a break ♥

Epic.Day

Today was pretty epic =D well besides the fact that i was suppose to watch UP but cos quyen's bro went into hospital she had to rush home =[ poor honey, hope you bro gets better~♥
so it was just me michael and joey, but after that darling(?) cwing came to join us ;)

I went dymocks to buy a phsyics book for yr 12. WOOO physic nerds FTW~ then after that we were standing around watching some replay of epic soccer moments on the tv, and michael and joey were laughing so loud it was embarassing -___-;; then we made out way down to market city xD

I got so into initial D that i have a bruise one my right knee from when i was hitting the brakes and banging my knee, i did it a few times too. BUT i fianlly beat the second guy from the usui map. WOO im awesome =D, and i beat joey in akagi ^^~ then i went to play daytona, only game i can properly drift in, but it brings out my road rage LOL after that michael couldn't hack it that i kept beating him, so we went to play basketball, which i beat him last time =D but it was probaly karma or something, cos for some reason no matter how much michael got the balls in, the points wernt added so at the end he only have like 2 points :D So yeh we spend probaly a total of like 1.5 - 2 hours at galaxy lol.

then after that we were still pretty bored and joey had to go city hunter so we went, and i was like michael teach my how to play dota, and his like are you sure? if u fail hsc don't come running after me cos its not my fault. and i was like yeh =P , so we went to play, trying not to make that much sound and cwing was like if u scream ill be so embarassed and ill pretend i don't know you. But i was all good =D and i realised how guys get so into dota -____- , i saw another friend and i was calling his name but he sat there slumped in his chair looking at his screen so i was like fine w/e. then when michael was teaching me, he was like let me play for 2 minutes to get you a kill, and it went for like more then 5 minutes lol. but i promise i wont get too addicted into dota, and ill promise to finish all my school work before i start :D

Oh and my mum let me go to quyen's house for sleepover. WOOOO! but im not sure if its still on cos what happened to quyen's bro T_T.

but thats about all i have to say....i think, and since i wanna dota but i promised ill put studies first, ill go finish my hw now THEN go dota xP

bye bye~ ♥


my day just got better ♥ :L
MOOD: VERY HAPPY XD

Thoughts;

sigh.

i never mentioned it before, but ever since moving schools im stuck in the middle =[
im not as close with my riverside girls, we dont seem to have as much to talk about nowdays, and i always miss them heaps, but because we all have different schedules and strict mums, we hardly ever see each other, imagine when yr 12 starts...don't get me wrong though, im happy i moved to blackwattle, i like the school way better, even if there are a few immature boys...(tommy xD, but his small in general xP, but yeah its all great fun). But sometimes, i dont fit into my blackwattle group either, im not close enough with them, to be in they're own small groups, maybe its because they've known each other since year 7 but sigh. and also the thought of yr 12 is already stressing me out. Sometimes i feel really left out, i never get told about outings that have been planned until last minute, but i guess i can't blame them, since i don't go riverside anymore, and if they're reading this, no hard feelings and you don't have to feel guilty about it.

There are times when people come to me for advice, but sometimes despite giving the advice, i can't bring myself to following it. yeah, talking is easy then doing. its like how i've been telling quyen to get over that guy cos his not worth it and that he doesn't like you back, while i, myself can't bring myself to letting go. His not the 'perfect' boy, but i can't seen to help but like him. It comes and goes, sometimes i think im fine, but at times i start to miss him. Even though im always telling quyen to get over her problem, she told me yesterday that one day she just woke up and forgot about it, but does that really work? its been a really long time, being on and off, but the earliest was around a year ago, yeah i know what a waste of a year. I go back and read the convos we used to have, and my friends been telling me that he did use to like me, and i can tell now, but i cant help but wanting to go back in time, doing things differently, if i had did that instead of that then maybe we would have got somewhere. nowdays with yr 12 and stuff all my friends are going into the 'mature' stage, where they're ditching all the guys, saying it'll help them with their hsc. But is that really the 'mature' thing, yeah dating someone may be distracting, but there are also thoses times when you want someone to lean on, other then a friend, its different. I've seen people who are dating but are also focused on school and are still as smart as they were before -___- ... cough cough jen and jesse. I envy those with boyfriends but i don't want to be seen as someone who is desperate. And as quyen said, when you chase love it runs away, and when you don't want it, it chases you. So right now im lost, and all i can go is sigh.

Can't help but think something is missing


sry for ranting things that prob don't make sense
♥

Not.Over

2.36am
...And i thought it was over
...thinking he was finally off my mind
...but the moment he talked to me
...my heart skipped a beat
...now im back where i started

xx


"when you chase love, it runs from you,
when you run from love, it chases you."

Wonderful.Day

Went shopping at macquarie today x), althought i couldn't stay long and waited like 30 minutes for everyone else to arrive. BUT i finally bought new black flats♥ only $40 too x)

OMG on the bus ride there, i was sitting second row from the back, window seat, and these scary guy sat behind me on the back row, and he kept leaning forward resting his arms on the free chair next to me, and sometimes he would stick his hand in, invading MY PRIVATE SPACE mumbling to himself, then he looked like he was reaching for my wallet in my bag on the seat next to me, so i moved it so it was between me and the window, then he started looking at my legs, and was like 'what nice legs' and im sitting here shitting myself, so i decided to call anna so it wasn't as scary. I always meet the weirdest people on the bus -____- , last time i caught the bus to macquarie, i swear some drunk old guy touched my ass when i was trying to get past him to get out, then it looked like he was following me, so i ran for life into the shopping center. T_T

Oh and the good news is, the weather is getting nicer x), lets hope it gets hotter so i can go beach next monday, unlike how the weather ruined yesterday so i couldn't go beach =[ . I beg you weather, to be nice hot and sunny for next monday so i can go bondi beach ♥

On the long bus ride to macquarie today, i was painted my nails with my new bought nail polish cos i was that bored x) i probaly looked like a bimbo to people though xP

My hands look retarded D:

But when i got home i fixed it so it looks better now =D


Now that the exciting news is told, i have to go back to catching up on 32pages of theroy and finish a 13page hw booklet by tonight. Oh i love physics ♥

nites ♥ xoxo

No.Love.For.Me

MOOD: IN BIG SHIT

woke up just then at 5, realising she was late for tutor which starts at 4.30 to 7.30, she runs for the phone and craps her matrix enrolment confimation letter and rapidly types in the first number she sees. Try twice, the phone call kept getting disconnected. She looked again and realised she was typing in her own phone number - FUCK. Fianlly getting through to Matrix Office, after much trouble she told them she was sick. Thanks to the fact she just woke up and was still out of this world, it probaly worked. Now shes sitting here shitting herself, hopefully matrix hadnt called her parents yet and praying to god that her parents don't get home till 8 tonight. If her parents were to somehow find out then she would probaly not be allowed to go to the sleepover quyen's was planning that she was looking forward to. She asked her older bro to help her, but all he goes is "hmmmm" so im like fine whatever don't help me.

All she can do is sit and and pray for forgivness for lying to everyone ><;; she promises she will dedicate herself to her 27hrs of tutor left these holis. So please help her and make sure her parents don't find out and hope they come home after 8.

9:15pm - thank god her parents arnt home yet. She went city to go to the party she wasn't gonna go to. Tagged for dinner, realy awakard cos she didn't kno anyone. Bought jap food to keep her bro's mouth shut and on the way home her dad calls. panic. but he was only asking if i was home yet, phew. But looks like everything went well. THANK YOU! ^^ ill errr try to dedicate myself to the 27hrs of tutor left x)

Shit.Day

MOOD: Neutural

4:18pm- During our family conversation today, boasting to my parents about being ranked 10th out of 70 for physics, my dad asked a really weird question: "is it possible to capture light from the sun, store it in a 'can' and use it for later in place of light globes?" i instantly pushed the idea away saying it was impossible. But who knows? ;]

Just got in a fight with mum -____- about the usual school stuff, she comes in saying why am i always so irresponsible, im in yr 12 soon blah blah and im still going out late, saying i have tutor tomorrow and im still not asleep - tutor starts at 4.30 mum. why arnt you asleep if your gonna go out tomorrow morning then? == . then she looks at my msn open, and although theres no convo shes like 'your always talking to people, do u have that much to talk about? you should manage your time more' and i go 'well denis is still watching anime and all that shit when he only has two weeks left till his hsc starts' and shes like 'thats different your brother doesn't that to people as much'. well sorry for being more social then my brother. no favourites my ass -____- so now i can't freaken go to the party i was going to go to tomorrow cos of her.

anywayz im off to bed after raging, feel abit better x)
good nights darlings

Loveless

MOOD: EXTREMLY BORED!

4:32pm - just woke up like half an hour ago x) yesh im a lazy shit, oh btw Happy Chinese Moon Festival x), my cousins are over so we can have a 'family' dinner and yet again they'll gonna eat all my food. The weather is really depressing, what happened to my sun! =[

4.45pm - managed to waste 13 minutes x), my older cousin just came to ask for my ds, only to find out that my other cousin of age 7 was too scared to ask me himself, he who was standing 5m away secretly watching, ran away when i looked at him. Am i that scary?

5.22pm - 'cause real guys are too hopeless these days' quote from cwinggg, agreeded.

6.34pm - me and cwinggg were just talking about getting a tatoo x), would be cool but then it would look gross when ur older cos it goes saggy xD
Argh is so bored! and holidays havnt even started. But im not really looking forward to these holidays, i have to go through the pain of attending tutor everyday from 4.30 to 7.30 T_T

9.27pm - me and cwinggg planning when we shall go dance in the holis xD since i realised im getting fatter each day, im determined to lose weight x) that means no junk food!.....ok junk food is allowed sometimes ^^. yesterday when me and quyen went shopping, we realised why pigs don't like moving, we were SO FULL we didn't want to move at all ><;; oh another problem that i discovered: i need money -____- after going shopping with quyen yesterday we saw heaps of pretty dresses that we wanted but with no money in our wallets we couldn't get them.
12.21pm - was told shes going yum cha tomorrow, does that mean i have to wake up earlier :O i was talking to mother dearest before about how my aunty is too strict on my cousins and that they'll start rebelling soon D: am so glad my mother dearest understands that you should not be so strict on your kids otherwise they'll rebel, that is why i love my parents xD
3.03am - ♥ ish off to bed, time flies :o when i looked at the clock before it was 1.30am now its 3am D:

EDIT: time didn't fly, it was daylight savings xD

anywayz gdnites my darlings ♥ my day seemed really boring D:

Love.Life♥

As a procrastinating HSC student i decided to start a blog
and oh yes, you must also thank cwinggg, ♥that girl so much
(ewwww is probaly what she'll say when she sees this)

and yes, i am well aware that i should be a good girl in bed sleeping. but not going to happen xD Guess making a blog can help me express errrrr......my inner thoughts xD For thoses who will be reading this, at times you may find that this blog will become my raging blog xD

On my mind now: besides stressing out that my brother graduated yr 12 today and i will be there in a year, a problem that dominates my mind more, when im sitting there with nothing to do is, i am currently lost in love . *sniff sniff*
but its all good ill get over it one day, but sometimes i can help but think back, that if i had done this or that at that particular time we would have been dating by now. But i've decided one year is enough time i've wasted on this guy. x] alright thats enough of my failed love life, lets hope in the future there'll be a less depressing blog about my love life =3

so my darlings, i must say farwell, before my mother dearest nags me even more to shower and sleep. on the note: im jigging school tomorrow to go shopping with quyen ♥

xoxo gossip girl
nah im joking xP
gdnites my darlings ♥ until next time ;]

p.s sorry for typos which i may not have seen ><;;

Memories.x3