Rawr.

Hey guys :)

Just a quick blog while I'm on the go. Been so busy recently. Feel like I don't have time or the energy for anything else cos of work ahahah

Was suppose to update a few days ago but the post I wrote got deleted so I completely forgot ahahah.

Nothing new with life, cos I got no time for anything, thinking of frying a gym membership soon instead of buying passes so I can drop by whenever im not working. Been kinda lazy since I started working but at least I'm on my feet the whole day for work ahaha.

I cant wait till feb though, planning a trip to port stephens, need to go away since I'll be working for 3months, pretty much full time :/

Anyways I'll talk to you darlings later :) byeeeeeeee <3

hi hi

hello hello
im back with amazing news ;) i got a job woot woot.. christmas casual for myer, although its only for a short time but hey work is work :) let the $$$ come rolling it mwahahahah xP
not quite sure exactly when im starting cos i might start earlier if not it'll be on the 1st of december, problem is we're not allowed to take leave, so looks like most of my uni holidays will be dedicated to working sigh. Doing this online induction thing...OMG its soo long :( i don't wanan do it sighhhhh

plus i just realised theres only about 2 weeks before exams startss.....OMGGGGGGGGG have not started studying. fk! :( i was suppose to go library today but i slept in ehehehe but i will be going tomorrow :) yup yup at least im making efforts eheheh

started going gym reccently too :) like twice a week :) saw this really hot guyyyy at the gym :) think he goes every wed as well mwahaahhaha xP guess i wont be skipping that gym session x)

so everything else is same ol'. Ex still ignoring me, he is such a child, but its funny watching him try avoid me, you know he's not very good at hiding when you can see his head sticking out from behind a wall, peeking ahahahah xP

so im off to bed now :) goodnightsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
toodles darlings :)

:)

been so lazy reccently, hence no blogging xP or studying :)
3 exams done, 3 more to go D: cannot wait for it to be over this friday, omgg i just want to sleep ahahah

hmm nothing interesting to tell you guys except that im still looking for a job, yes i complain about that alot and i should prob try harderr but ive just been so lazy :( someone slap me to wake me up ahahah

anyways back to studying.......starcraft xP
toodles

IM BACK :D

hello helloooooooooo

so a quick recap of my life, had my ups and downs, happy moments, sad moments, stressed moments and the turning point moments the usual stuff :)

so the change in my lifestyle now: these days i've been looking after my fitness level! which is good, meaning im watching what i eat, and im exercising at least 3 days a week :) i hope to do city to surf next year which is a big step for me. Went for a 6am jog this morning :D am so proud of myself, no more '6am jogs in my mind' ahahah xP since i just started, my fitness level is shit lmao, i go for approx 20-30mins jog each time but even then its not constant jogging ahaha. but i can feel myself getting fitter compared to when i first started, cos believe me, when i first went to jog, i was DYING! ahahah trying to be 55kg max by the start of summer :) since my weight isn't constant, jumps around alot, so im happy with a range of 50-55. and by this i don't mean skin and bones, i mean toned body ahaha considering getting a belly button peircing too xP but first piority is getting my fitness level up, so that it becomes a normal lifestyle for me, as a exercise and science student i should do that =D
and im currently looking for a new job :)

happy moments: my life summed up right now is at a happy stage ahaha, got my Ps reccently, and things have been fun for me :) made new friends this sememter :) of course through the common interest we share of STARCRAFT! ahaha nahh i joke xP oooooo and i got my Ps reccently xP OHH YeAHHH! i feel so grown up and independent when i drive by myself. im a big girl now :) keke
The house rennovations are almost done ;) just missing a few final touches and the furniture! then house party at my house wooootttt ahahah xP theres alot more good things happening in my life now but nothing of importance :)

Sad moments: the saddest thing encountered reccently happened yesterday. the coffee guy i had a thing for quit :( IM SO SADDDD just when there was a bit of conversation going on between us, he left all of a sudden T_T uni life will never be the same :(
The next issue, i wouldnt call it a sad moment, but its always been in that category so why not? ahhaha i've always had a pretty decent understanding of pat's personality, but its just been confirmed for me now, im not going to bad mouth him because i persoanlly do not regret ever dating him, however i can also say that im happy we broke up while it was still not as deep, yeah both issues don't really work together, but just follow me with this one ahaha

Stressed moments: yesterday me and my friend were going through our assesment dates. and we just realised our first mid sem exam is in week 6 D: we're almost half way through week 4 already. our exams this semester go over a span of 3 weeks, with 3 theory exams and 3 practical exams. feels like just yesterday we started uni, and exams are around the corner already. really need to step up my game this semester so i have a slight bit more chance to transfer, last semester results was just awful, barely skimmed passed with a 'pass' for 2 of my subjects. so i have to work hard. I've been more motivated with alot of things now, like waking up early to get to uni on tim and exercising regularly so if i pushed myself, hopefully studying will become a routine for me but i have to admit.....GAMING IS JUST SO ADDICTIVEEEEEEE :(

so thats my recap of the life of stella the past few months. time for dinner (late dinner, i know...not good for my new lifestyle), then hopefully get some studying done, although i always end up using that 'tomorrow' excuse.
so until next time my dears. toodles ♥

fking cold :)

OMGG its been so cold these dayss :( sighh cannot wait for winter to be over :) keke

im so happy right now :) the shoes and bags i ordered online arrived xP its a good thing that the shoes fit me cos i had to buy a size smaller for one of them since they didn't have my size in stock. The bags i ordered are pretty too :) pretty true to the picture i have to say. and i will buy from there again <3 ahah once my money comes back, i still haven't gotten off my ass to look for another job....well by that i mean i havent been bothered to put the gaming and dramas aside to start ahaha my daily routine nowdays is pretty much sleep, eat, game, drama. ahaha unless im going out but that normally results in the same routine when i get home ahahah xP
sighh i hope all my hard work in losing weight wont go wasted LMAO
Ohhh im going up to blue moutains this weekend :) friend invited us to go up and see his bonfire xP its going to be like 2m highh =D too bad we can't roast marshmallows with it unless we had like a 2m long stick ahaha normally i wouldnt be bothered considering im not a big fan of nature after i quited scouts a few years back but its a good change of environment i guess :) with all the shit going on in my life right now, it'll be pretty relaxing to be able to go to the 'countryside' so yeah :) i will take my massive beautiful camera and take heaps of photos :) ahahah anyways too cold to type right nowww. i will prob go back to my drama if not gaming ahaha. been gaming too much, to the point that i dream about it xP bwahaha

toodles dear :)

p.s. i want to send my love and thanks to the people who have been worried over me and the people who have supported me through all this shit. :) STEEELLLAA LOVEESSS YOUUU ALLL :D and ish fine now (y)

:)

i have finished my exams wooottt i will be a very happy girl until my results come out xP

so i guess i've been feeling better these days, just trying to keep myself occupied so i don't think about it lmao which tends to happen when im alone sighhh =( I will admit that i still have feelings for him but i know theres nothing i can do about it, cos you just can't turn back time ahah and that we'll all move on eventually so yeah =)

wanna go out soo much but im lacking money sighhhh need to look for a new job ahaha im still working at the bistro on weekend nights but i have to quit my tutoring job cos of uni timetables next sem sighh its like school all over again :( monday and wednesday is 9 to 5, tuesday is 8 to 5 and friday is 9 to 11 SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH guess i can't stay up anymore =(

anyways im off to bed nowww =) goodnigtssswtdrmsss =D

Time.

They say time heals everything but why is time going by really slow? Wish I could just skip all this pain Sighh
Thought i was getting over it and that I would be fine telling people what happened when they asked but the fact that he still appears in my dreams just shows that I still havent brought myself to move on. Sighh had a long talk with the bestie, we came go the conclusion that I am a very 'affectionate' person, as mature as I seem about some issues when it comes to relationships I reply on the other person quite abit, which is werid cos it contradicts each other sigh I'm weird Ahah

Like people have been telling me, 'if it didn't work out with him then it just meant he wasnt the one and that someone one else would eventually come around', yeah i want to tell myself that, right from the beginning I knew it was going to be hard but I still had hope that it would work out in the end.
Guess our expectations, commitments and needs were different when it came to relationships.

GD@$!JFBJ!,;!GBFR!(,vhnbjmBhafbHajbaviAB!nm?j bleh!
That's my little rage and I'm pretty much just saying w.e is on my mind right now so you can just ignore this post AHAHA xP maybe it would of been smarter to put this at the beginning of the post as a warning lmao meh cbf. Too hard to navigate on iPhone xD

Anyways off to sleep :)
Goodnights darlings <3
P.s two down and two to go :) halfway to a month of freedom :)

realisation

Try not to dislike
Try to appreciate

Try not to expect
Try to accept

Try not to judge
Try to understand

Try not to escape
Try to fix

Try not to ask
Try to give

Try not to regret
Try to live harder

Try not to hold
Try to let go.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cos i realised he wasn't worth all this pain and that eventually he wont be all i think about.

habits

when i saw texts from you, i would smile like no tomorrow. when i saw you're name on the incoming call, my heart would skip a beat. to the point it became a habit to keep my phone with me 24/7.
sad thing is, even now i still do, hoping you might decide to call me. :(
this sucks. ahaha

:(

It hurts so much :( why won't it stop? ;( can't eat or sleep properly sigh...
I'm fine when I'm around people but when I'm alone, I start thinking about the 'what ifs', what if I had done that instead? Or what if I had been more mature about it? Sigh but like my best friend said, it would have happened eventually, best it happen when it's not that far into the relationship. Guess that's one thing I should be 'happy' about, if I'm like this already what would happen if this occurred later on?

But is it wrong of me for wanting to be with him again?? I always thought the girls who got back with their bf after breaking up, were stupid and just hurting themselves but now I know how much it hurts and that you'll do anything to stop the pain.

But you know what? My sadness has turned into anger. Angry at myself for being like this, when really it shouldn't even be a big deal at all. I think about the things my friends are going through around me and try to tell myself, I shouldn't be acting like this when clearly there are people around me who need more support. My best friend was telling me how I look tough on the outside but when it comes to relationships I get attached really easy :(

Wish I could just erase my memory Ahah maybe one day I'll just wake up and forget about it completely. But I know it'll take me ages to do that.

its over

well we broke up.
i cant say it was a really big issue but hey if we cant make it over this bump, how are we suppose to make it over a mountain when we encounter one in the future. It ended just as fast as we started.
i want to tell myself not be affected by all of this, and get on with life, especially with exams around the corner, but its harder then i thought ahaha sigh.
well theres not much to update =) i would say the next time ill be back with when exams are over and i will be a VERYYY HAPPY GIRLLL ahahah x) oh and i''ve been getting more shifts for work nowdays so thats good =) i'm running low on money anyways lmao xP
toodles dear. until next time <3

OMG♥

I WANT ONE =(

:)

shout out to the losers who read my blog but don't leave a comment.
YOU'RE GAY!
you kno who you are :)
had a fun time reminiscing over old memories with you guys <3

desperate for advice

why do i feel like im in a realationship that is more phsyical then emotional? no i dont' mean to that extreme but he's constantly telling how much he misses me via 'texts' yet he doesn't reply to my texts when i suggest to meet up. I feel like i constantly have to stand aside to make way for him, and thats not my ideal relationship. But i don't want to let him go =( its only been like 2 weeks, is it too early to give up? should i wait it out abit more.

I can't help but think im constantly thinking about him more then he does about me and i mean genuinely, not just in 'words'. sigh why are you guys always like that? you sweet talk a girl into finally trusting you, then you start backing off? == i have lost faith in you men. no im not going to turn lesbian but ARGHHHHH #)(*%KLJSFLK)#TET rage ==

there seems to be more cons then pros in this relationship, maybe i should give up early, before it causes more damage to me. sigh any advice dears?

Unwanted situation

So recently I have found someone to add to my life. Guess things are goin great for us, but sometimes I can't help but feel insecure being with him. I guess it hasn't been that long since I've been with him so I should really give it more time but the fact that we starting our relationship not long after we met each for the first time makes me feel abit worried that it'll end just as fast. I admit I am abit of the jealous type, and he personally has alot of female friends that he's close to...guess I can't really say anything about that since I generally get along with guys more and probably have more close guy friends then girls. Sigh guess I worry too much. I don't want to be seen as a over jealous girlfriend either :(

It's just been awhile since I found someone that I can open up to but I'm abit scared that it'll end badly like the previously with 'him'. I have to admit that my feelings right now arn't as strong as the feelings I had for 'him' but it's getting there hence why I'm scared to open up completely. Generally it isn't something I worry about daily, but it's a thought that comes up when I'm alone and thinking ahaha

Guess I should really leave this to time. I know it's unfair of me to not trust him completely but expect all of he's trust from him. Well if it ends badly, I guess it'll just be added to my book of experiences but I can't say I'll be able to open up to anyone again. But hey, maybe it will end well. :)


Just another rant written by the bored me on the way home from uni haha
Goodbye darlings :) until next time <3

ROFL situation

awkard moment when you call you're bf and he picks up and tells you he's in the shower... aahahah xP

Hello darlings =)

here once again to procastinate cos i don't wanna do my group assignment ahaha xP cannot wait til its over tomorrowww D; except i dunno if my public speaking skills are up to scratch =( sighhhhh good thing i don't have a big part (y) ahaha hope everything goes well tomorrow =) we're incooperating a role play into our presentation. 25mins doesn't sound enough if you think about it >< sighhhh back to workkk

goodnightsswtdrmsss

...oh boy now he's singing lmao xP

i wonder...

over these days i can't help but wonder...why me? ahahah
out of everyone, why me?
im not saying i have completely no self esteem but i can't help but wonder D;
and i hate that feeling when you wanna text, hug, call, see a certain someone but know you can't =( SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND OMGGG dying from group assignment and extra days of work doesn't help at ALLLLLLLLL =( maybe i should stop procastinating......NAH! x)


ahaha shortblog. but thats all i have on my mind now, update you dears when the time comes :)

BTW FIRST BLOG AS A 18-ER xP keke

Fml

Hello dears :) havnt been here for awhile, just another rant blog about my life sigh

Been so busy these days with uni exams coming up abs extra shifts of work :( and I've been talking to people I never talked to more often these days ahaha. Guess uni changes a lot, especially since I'm at a campus where most of my friends don't go. New enivonment = new experiences i guess....

So now to the issues that have gotten me frustrated over, a close friend or best friend is someone who will always be there for you and support you with your decisions, just cos you don't talk as often to each other due to other commitments does not change the fact that your still valued as a friend. That's why your a close friend, someone who respects my choices and understands me even without phyically talking. I really wished the person i am referring to would understand that. Desperately holding on to someone who wants space to attend to other commitments is just going to push them away more and probaly forever ==
The way this person is acting now is making me from concern to fustrated. Please just stop.

Yesh that's my rage finish :) on a brighter note it's my birthday soon ;) yay about time too Ahah cannot wait xP especially since it's after test period and followed by break woooohhh!! :) ahaha

But yeah back to assignments and studying now (Y)
Until next time my dears. Stay smiling :D
Toodles :)

P.s excuse the structure or typo of this blog, was on my phone while writting it :)

hello darlings =)

now..i kno i havnt been blogging...ehehehe xD but i've been busy?...with all the party's and all =D but i can't deny the fact that laziness was mixed in with it ahahah xP

so today was orientation day for me and cumperland campus, cumpo for short. i've told ppl that it looks like a shit hole...and it does, but it also reminds me of blackwattle bay ahaha which was also a shithole LMAO we were seperated into our courses for one of our talks, and there was only about 40 or so people doing my course. there was only about 9 or so people within us who were doing M of Nutrition and Dietics as well. wow not a very high number, no wonder theres alot of competition to get in...they probably only accept 10 students a year sighhhh =( makes my transferring harder D; During this talk, we were introduced to this thing called 'campus rewards' and it was basically this membership you signed up for with $199, which gave you discount to the food, bookshops, gym and such. so i guess in the long run it'll save alot of money. The president of campus rewards, was telling us, how cumbo campus was on of the best campus's to socialise since there arn't many people attending there compared to the main campus. He was saying how in a lecture in the main campus, it would be hard to meet people, cos every lecture with about 100 or more students, you could be sitting next to someone different every lecture. however at cumpo campus, you would have your mates sitting in a whole row next to you. since we arnt that big to start off with, everyone knows each other. im glad that i get to see some familiar faces =) which will be good. and i hope i make other friends ahaha xP but yeah we'll see xP

ahhh also some of you may realise how much i swear and put up my rude finger at ppl. its gotten to the point where i sometimes accidently do it to my parents, or do it in front of my parents to my brother. yeah thats bad ahahah so like im trying to stop that =) so if you see me swearing and such....hit me? ahahah xP
anyways im going back to my drama lmao hope you guys are grateful, i stopped my drama halfway to blog ;D
toodles darlings and hope for a new blog soon =)

Fml

10:06am ~ What a great start to uni huh? On the train to Cumberland campus for a chemistry bridging course which I thought started t 10:30 but was really 9 Fk me. == and to make it worst u don't kno if I'm enrolled into the course or not considering I didn't get an email to confirm my payment. Fk? Yes I kno T.T and the weather is gloomy and gay :( dont like uni already D; i hope the rest of the year will be better :( and that they let me into the bridging course despite being 1hr and a half late. I shall come and update later. Goodbye.

hello darlings, im back =D

ahaha so i wont lie, i've just been down right lazy these days hence why i havnt blogged for so long, its always, 'ill do it tomorrow' or 'ill do it after i finish this' hahaha xP

so i enrolled into uni yesterday =) there wasn't much choice in subjects, we just wrote 'standard year 1 program' and they enrol you into the right courses lol so i got into B of applied science (exercise and sport), hoping to transfer after, but some lady full cut me down when i was enrolling, she was like 'errr, theres about this many places' and she holds up her 10 fingers ahaha bitch lmao

so since its a health science, im going cumberland campus and must i say ITS A SHIT HOLE. how can usyd main campus look so pretty but not the cumberland campus? =( i have to trek it to lidcombe everyday sighhh and what worst is, its right next to that MASSIVE cemetery, scary shit right there =( mum said i can drive ahah better get my Ps fast before she changes her mind xD

so im having a dilema over what shoes to buy ahahah they're pumps, and for some reason they're really cheap so i can't resist but to buy them, shit thing is, i dunno which colour to buy =(
help? =)

:)

hello dears, another blog before im off to bed =)
as you can see i finally got around to updating the photos on the left hand side =D took the 08moments off to make way for the soon to come 11moments ahaha and added alot more 10moments =) enjoy ♥♥

went bondi beach today to with a bunch of people to celebrate quyen's birthday, wasn't a offical birthday party ahaha but yeah. the weather was being bipolar like it always is. raining in the morning, sunny when we got there, raining again after an hour ahaha so we all just decided to go ben's house to swim =) ben drove me, quyen, kimi and jason backk to he's house ahah which was good. good thing you can use the kid as a benefit to yourself xD nahhh ill do anything for kimi xP
swam at ben's for quite abit, like 4 hours, everyone took their time getting out of the pool to shower and change expecially quyen, so being the first to finish, stood around yelling at people to get out and change like the mother i am AHAHAH xD
went to eat after at TAKERU OMFG so nicee food and so much to choose from xP then went K at show and then pool ahaha which was pretty cool. cos we went billard world, and we had the whole second lvl to ourselves, so we took liek 4 tables LMAO and then a 'special guest' showed up so i was happy AHAHA xP legs starting to cramp from being cold (if you ever get those) so im off to bed. might go to a bbq tomorrow =)

gdniteswtdrms darlings ♥

=D

hello there dears~~~ bored? yeah i am ahaha hence why im here ;D
watching the last episode of my drama right now. proud? i watched a 20 ep drama in two days LMAO xD yeshh this is i can achieve in life ahaha jksss

so today was info days at uni yet again, i only went usyd, cos like usual me and quyen slept in so we only got to go usyd ;D so i asked the lady about transferring, she said doing the combined degree, B of applied science/M of Nutrition and Dietics, pretty much guarantees my position in the masters course, but if i can't transfer, i can do it by parts, just its harder, cos i have to choose the relevant subjects, and the better i do, the more chances i can go to masters. requirement is credit average but of course i wanna do better =\ so yeah, need to work hard in uni sighh hsc all over again =(

hmm i should really sleep soon ahaah going quyen's house tomorrow, cos apprently shes lonely at home ahahah dunno wat im going to do there, but prob end up cooking for her like always sighhh
hmm im off now =) goodbye goodniteswtdrms darlings ♥♥♥

=)

yeshh i kno, im like 3 hours late but HAPPY NEW YEARS DARLINGSS ♥♥ ahahaha
howd you all spend your new years eve? =) mine was camping out at circular quay for 12 hours IN THE FKING HOT SUN OMFG thought i was gonan die, and we wernt that prepared for the sun sighhhh everyone had umbrellas up ahaha xD but yeah i guess it was worth it =D some people are saying the fireworks sucked but i liked them, they were so pretty ahaha maybe cos i got front view of the harbour bridge ;D but yeah it was pretty funny when the fireworks were going off, the outdoor club downstairs were playing all these clubbing music, like dj got us falling in love, bad romance etc, and we were the only people out age and only people who knew the songs ahaha so we were the only ones screaming out the lyrics while everyone looked at us weridly ;D

then it took us like 4o minutes to walk from circular quay to george street cinemas ahaha such a long walk =( and so many people lmaoo we all bought something to eat and made our way back to bens house. by that point i was already dead cos i had been up since 7:30am making sushi so yeah. since it seemed to be taking ages to wait for everyone to shower and actually start drinking, a few of us just went to the living room to sleep ahah xD guess we got the most sleep but it was only about 5 hours anyways =( then we went down to ben's pool for a swim ahahah and played around in the gym..you should see how tank i am ;D AHAHAH a few others joined us as well then we went pepper lunch. OMGGGG the curry rice is soo niceee ahaha like the actualy curry rice not the flavouring. then we went billlard world for pool. ahahah we go there often now cos its so niceee there but only oldish ppl go there so they're arnt as many hot guys to check out compared to dixon house. ahaha common i see eye candy sometimes ;D

im really tired ahahah but i guess a good news is, a project associated with 'match making', me and my friend had been working on for months suceeded. well at least thats what i think ahah xD ahah im off to bed now xD goodniteswtdrmss dears♥♥

p.s my friend made up this really cute thing ahah 'Can you do me a flavour? ...Be sweet!' AAHHA so cute :3