Desire to just craw in a hole and never come out

The dreaded week is here...the week all uni students hate, late night crams, the stress, the procrastination, and the regrets for slacking off the semester.
Yup kill me now. WHY DIDN'T I START STUDYING EARLIER!?!? Why am I still procrastinating ?? Omgggggg
Everytime this happens i tell myself i brought it on myself and to not repeat the same mistake next time yet I always do. WHYYYYYYYY AM I SO LAZY?!?

ello peeps :)

hi hi!
so its beeeeen AGGGGGGGGGESSSSSSSS since i last wrote a blog ahaha. i've just been lazy xP no excuses lmao. its the last week of holidays already and uni starts in a few days. cant believe im halfway through uni since my course is only 3 years. Im in that state where im excited to go back to uni but at the same time i dont want to ahaha xP

So i safely passed last semester, and this semester is going to be harder for me since im picking up an extra subject so it means im doing 5. i have approx 5-6 hours of classes for 4 days and 2 hours on my 5th day. Never been at uni 5 days a week before xP ahahah then i gotta add work into all of this.

Shifts have been getting cut down at myer reccently and i dunno when it'll go back up but i guess its ok, since i got uni to worry about. Im kind of thinking of applying for the new topshop opening right opposite myer. Change of environment i guess ahaha also cos we're getting a new manager who may be a old team leader we had and i hate her so yeah.

Havent done much today, been lying in bed and the couch ahahah, i've started my diet again, since i've got 3 months to achieve my summer body and i guess being a couch potato isnt helping ahah BUT i have legit excuse xP, went to the gym on monday and i was sore from it but i still went yesterday so now im REAAALLLLLYYY sore ahahah xP i plan to go tomorrow too :D i figured, i dont go all out at the gym so i may as well go more days to make up for it LMAO.

oh and i just found out another two of my friends are dating xP ahaha i was so shocked at first cos it was so sudden. well sudden for me since i dont hang with that group right now. But im also happy for them xP ahaha its funny since we've all known each other from high school, how feelings can change. cos i certainly did not see any of this coming in high school. Guess they're right when they say feelings change with time ahaha

So the best friend is still in canberra, guess im coping ahhaha i went up for 4 days at the start of the holidays, we had fun although all we did was sleep and go out to party at night ahahaha. But damn its bloody cold there and we still saw girls walking around in skimpy dresses at night. Dem girls are crazy... She also comes down like 2 times a month which is cool :) even back before she left, we didnt see each other much but i guess the only difference is, we have to plan our meet ups way beforehand, its not the usual, call and lets go out thing ahahah

Dont have much more to say now :) i'll be honest with you, i prob wont be back for another month, but yeah. Until i have something new and maybe more interesting happening in my life, i prob wont have much to blog till then.
So goodbye my darlings :) Stay happy, dont worry and enjoy life as it comes :D

sick before exam period. fuck.

:(

so exams are finally overr (ended on monday), i guess i should be happy about it but the thought of having 3 assignments due in the next week before i have to start studying again makes me stress ahaha
i dont think i told you guys before but my parents went to china for a few weeks,  they have been gone for exactly one week. i miss them so much :( i was on the verge of crying when i was going to uni todayyy T_T
i also have more respect for all the mothers out there, who work, clean and cook without complaining for us. I never knew it was so hard :( and im not even doing as good of a job as my mum. my bro is pretty lazy and useless, even if i dont cook for him and he cooks for himself, i still have to end up cleaning after him cos he makes a mess.
so not much happening in my life worth mentioning, im going back to work on friday after taking 2 weeks off for exams. sigh not really looking forward to it but im running low on money so yeah. i guess i could be doing worst jobs then myer, so i should be thankful i have that job. but then again who loves working ahaha

so yeah, think i may go to sleep now, been pretty tired, haven't had decent hours of sleep the past few days and i got a lot to do over the next few days, like cleaning the house, buying groceries, cleaning my room (biggest challenge xD) etc etc, everything thing i've been putting off because of exams lmao.

so good nights darlings :) when more interesting things happen or i have news worth mentioning i will be back :) toodlessss


♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

:)

So yesterday was my birthday :) my bestie made it very special cos she drove me to the beach and we ate cake then threw sparklers everywhere ahaha she kept complaining that she acts like my boyfriend and I should get a proper one lmao same goes for her too. Ahaha yup we're lonely sad girls xD we probably also disturbed the other couples on the beach since we were running around screaming and laughing keke x) Parents left for china today. Feels so weird and I miss them already :( went grocery shopping with the bro, brought about two days worth of food and it was $60! So expensive considering we didn't buy much lmao probably go aldi on the weekend cos its cheaper xD So I'm going to go shower at sleep ahaha Nights dears :)

19th

so its my birthday :) too busy studying until the best friend called me ahahah

well back to studying :D

eat.sleep.play to work.study.gym

some people just don't appreciate the efforts other people have done for them and repay them by being ridiculously rude. Its these people who are also self centered. well fk you!

Been sitting in front of my laptop all day trying to study, all i've done is answer 3 objectives GG my uni marks.
Had a LOTR movie marathon the other day....extended versions. NEVER AGAIN! too much tv in one day ahahah
Cant believe its my birthday in a few weeks already D: dad asked what i wanted for my birthday and i didnt want anything but $$$ would be greatly appreciated since i took 2 weeks off work to study for exam ahahah xP Also rents are leaving for china the day after my bday. house with my bro for a whole month. i can already see the amount of work im going to have to do with a lazy brother like mine ahahah xP maccas run everyday? ;D

anyways i must finish this objective point by today so back to studying for me :(
toodlessss

wtf?

starting to think my 'sickness' is more mental then physical, except i dont know the cause of it ahahah weird yeah? xP

Sick :(

Sigh the past week, I've been feeling like shit :( everytime I eat, my stomach seems to be rejecting the food to the point where I want to throw up T.T I get this bloated feeling and I don't even eat much. I still get the hungry feeling but I don't feel like eating cos I feels like I've got something stuck in my throat. Last time I felt like this was when my ex broke up with me but I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed right now ahaha maybe I'm stressed, but I dunno about what lmao. When anything related to food becomes a problem for me then you know shit is going down ahaha

Mum put me on a diet, can't eat anything but congee and light things :( fml T.T

On clouds :D

Target locked and acquired. Name obtained. Initiate step 2 ;D

AHAHAHAHA xD uni party was hell worth it :D

:)

hello hello my darlings :)
how about a little bed time story? ahahahh xP just a quick update, little rants about things bothering me and just stuff going on in my life in general :)

so these days i've been reading quite a bit, which i guess is good, ahaha better then sitting at the computer and watching dramas or playing games right? xP i might go to my library to borrow books, expect i think i owe them like $30 from over due books last time so i dont really wanna go back keke xP work is same old work, still tiring, my hours vary, some weeks i only work approx 15hours or so and some weeks i work around 22ish. but hey its $$$$ xP trying very hard to save up since i saved up shit since i started working over the holidays and i earned a lot....i mean A LOT ahaha so yeah. mum always says myer is smart to hire people like me cos we spend our pay checks back on their clothes anyways lmao xP

Uni is starting to get hard to follow and its only the end of the 2nd week.....oh boy :( better start writing up notes and revising before i leave it cramped up in the last week before exams ahaha speaking of uni, i found a new target ;D its not as starkerish as it sounds....ok maybe pretty stalker, but hey going some research before i go for it? AHAHAHA xP theres actually many new good looking before at my uni :) something to look forward to aye? ;D

so i've been hearing a lot things from people the past few weeks, and some it is just ridiculous. Im sick of narrow minded people, who only see themselves and think they're right, and what makes it worst? they think they know you. hey unless you think, feel and see exactly like me, dont act like you know everything about me. You have you're own opinions, and i respect that, but dont try to enforce you're thoughts on me lmao. Also accusing me of something, that i never did or intended, is just fked up and going around spreading it is even more fked up. But then again, nowdays i dont really give a shit, how people see me, as long as my close friends accept me for who i am, doesn't matter what other people think. Wish i matured earlier, thinking back in the days, i was really self-concious of myself, always worried about what people thought, tried to copy the 'cool' stuff, ahhhh what a naive child i was.

Things have changed a lot for me since back in high school and stuff, then we'll have big groups of friends that we always hung out together, but nowdays, i only see/talk to close friends, that have made it through everything and kept in contact with me, the rest have just kind of drifted off. I guess i still do hang out with my groups, but normally only when theres a special occasion like a birthday or something then again, alot of them dont invite me out anymore, although i cant really blame them, after all i was always busy in the holidays due to work and now that uni has started i dont have time anyways. :)

as usual my blogs never make sense ahaha its just rant rant rant to no one in particular xP. good way to express yourself without someone talking back ahaha so thats about it, going to read a bit then sleep and head to the gym tomorrow, did i mention, that all the new good looking people are fit as well? ahaha more motivation i guess xP

goodnights my dears <3 :)

leave me the fk alone.

No title

Hello my darlings :)

Just thought I'll drop by. No one else to talk to cos I'm lonely ;) ahaha
So many changes have happened in my life since uni started, for one, juggling uni and work is hard and tiring. Then I have to fit in a bit of free time and gym here and there. Sigh. Not having time for anything else doesn't help the fact that I already feel distant from everyone :( I dunno why :(

Feeling a mixed of moods right now. So yeah, I'm ranting yet again. Ahaha
Oh reccently, couples have developed from our circle of friends. Just feels so different considering I'm not exactly a fan of couples from sane circle of friends, just brings trouble when shit goes down. But hell, I'm not the one in the relationship so I guess it doesn't matter. :) oh and I find girls who have no trust in their bfs and get jealous over things stupid, vice versa with the guys as well. Don't care if I sound like a bitch, you're just asking for an happy relationship by worrying and doubting everything. maybe this is just all a rant from a lonely single girl who's jealous of people in relationships...nahh don't thing so xP

But yeah, hope the new couples all the best. Dont cause trouble cos that drags the rest of the group down ahaha xD

Yup that's about it, I'm going to sleep with hopes to hit the gym tomorrow xD *fingers crossed*
goodnight my dears 

hello again :)

so my blog has been delayed by 1 week since i got back from port stephens. i suppose i should of made a update when i got back but i've just been too lazy ahahah

so i have good news and bad news and more rants xP
good news is i got to keep my job at myer, so it means for the mean time, im still employed ahaha which is good :) although i should really try for like woolies or coles, spend less money that way, i spend so much working at myer, cos i get to see the first sale offers and get my staff discount on top of that lmao. also i got my timetable today, relatively happy about it, expect for my 8am starts on mondays, wish i was able to change it earlier, by the time i got home from work to customise it, i was still stuck with a 8-6 day on mondays. but overall, my longest break is 3 hrs, which is good considering last sem i had like 6 hour breaks sometimes. now that was shit. im also looking forward to starting uni again, got nothing better to do. also makes me get out of the house so i have a excuse to go to the gym ahaha xP

here comes the bad news, well for me, what happens when your best friend tells you shes moving away 2 days before she leaves? during the 2nd last day at port stephens she told me she was going ANU to study (which is in canberra), i was really sad when she told me, cos she had thought about it for awhile, and she was leaving for vietnam the day after we got back from ps, which mean i pretty much wasn't going to see her again, until the easter breaks. At first i tried to convince her not to go and i started crying, which was the reason she didnt want to tell me, cos it would make it harder for her to leave. i felt a sudden stab of guilt, wishing i had been nicer to her during the week we were up at port stephens. But i know its selfish of me to try convince her not to go, its her life, and i guess she can always come back during holidays or i go up to her. Plus she really needs to get away from sydney so i told her to go, and that i would be fine without her since we barely even saw eachother when during uni last year anyways. Only difference is she isn't a phone call away now, cant meet up with her when im sad, lonely or happy about something. i just hope she doesn't eat instant noodles everyday or something, the girl doesn't know how to cook and here she is moving out by herself. so worried about her ahahah shes at the age where she should be able to start looking after herself anyways :) guess ill have to rant and reply more on my blog now ahahah. With her leaving, i feel like im even more deperate to get a bf now ahaha xP so im not that lonely when she leaves. sigh my sad lonely life LMAO

ohhh and my port stephens trip :) it was fun ahaah, i was pretty much the only one who stayed sober and un-stoned. now they all call me 'mum' since i was looking after them ahaha. so i have more 'children' now, not like i didn't have enough before. we had 10 people in our house and our other group of friends had 8, the cool thing was their house was on the same street as us, so it was only a 1minute drive to get to their place ahaha the weather wasn't exactly shit, sunny during the morning and day, then cloudy towards the evening, which was good cos i didn't want to get sunburnt or turn like 5 shades darker xP funny cos me and my friend brough a massive umbrella and if we werent in the water we were under it ahaha xP being pretty much the only girls from the trip, we cared about our skin alot more then the boys ahaha on the way back, my car overheated, so we had to stop at a friends place and refil the water + let it cool down. pretty funny experience ahaha, full had the car rolling on neutral whenever we could to avoid heating it up more. OHHHH and also my friend taught me how to drive manual, i have the basics, just need to get the hang of it now, and do it smoothly.

im planning to get a manual car since they're cheaper and more fuel efficient, but i have to wait till i get my green Ps, which is in june so yeah. right now im car hunting although im set on getting a mazda 3 sedan, sp25 would have been my ideal choice but its still pretty expensive for a 2nd hand one, so i guess that leaves neo or sp23. either way mazda 3 sedan in gunmetal ♥♥

group picture - minus a friend who was knocked out at home xP

think ill call it a night, plan is to craw into bed and watch family outing :) havnt written a blog this long in awhile, gonna publish it before i lost it all xP happened before ahahah
so goodnights my dears :) see you next time :D

memories

so its been awhile and this is prob my first blog since the new years ahahah havnt been doing much except working and spending money LMAO but technically chinese new years was only few days ago so it wasn't THAT long ago xD

so i went to a party yesterday which brought back memories cos we pretty much did the exact same thing they did for their party last year which was dinner and hotel except this time plus clubbing cos we're big girls now ;D ahahahah but there was also one person there that i had used to be really close with but some how we drifted ahahah and during the party i couldnt help but think....'what happened between us?'. we dont really talk anymore and we act like strangers ahahah to make it worst my bestie made it evenn more awkward between us at the club == sigh. i realised that it was exactly 2 years ago when we had something going on ahahah wow long is that? fk time passes fast.

so this is really just a meaningless blog. with me ranting as usual about shit thats not important ahahah xP on a second note IM GOING PORT STEPHENS IN ONE WEEEK. WOOOT WOOOTTT. ahahah my first road trip :D theres so much shit going now that i wanna get out of sydney ahahah

and by shit i mean, friend's relationship going down the drain, previous problems that i thought were solved have surfaced again, needing to find a new job and pretty much all those other little stressful things in life ahahah (first world country problems right there ;P )

so its 4am and it doesnt feel like it since i woke up at 7pm after chucking a all-nighter at the hotel and i have a sore throat so maybe i should attempt to sleep before i become a fatty and go fulfill my hunger lmao
so goodnights darlings...or good morning :D