hmmmmmmm;

sorry dear blog for visiting u after soo long ♥

but i've been pretty grumpy lately probaly abit from the weather too. Sigh im so fed up with everything right now ><;; and i get pissed easily lol so its bestyou don't piss me off x) gah this stupid weather is like OMG! so frkn hot! >=|


and im going camp on monday...yeh to some farm for THREE days in this HOOOOT weather ...gahh! and ill probaly have to take my homework there so i don't miss out.
according to the math teacher, the three days which ill be away, we're going to go through ALL of integration in like what?...3 lessons? -_________- he probaly meant basics, but knowing him who gives out a shit load of homework, ill have heaps to catch up on. SIGH!


anywayz thats whats happening in my life so far, nothing worth talking about lol
gdnites ♥

;

feels incomplete or as if somethings wrong.

Reality;

i never realised what reality was until now. Ever since ages ago, i always thought 'hey if we just laugh it over everythings going to be fine'. I never realised how serious things were until now, when im more concious of issues around me. I don't want to boast about my family being happy because all family's have they're sad moments, but i have to say, compared to others, im.....well not going to say fortunate, but hmmmm.....you get my point.

Back then i always thought depression was just something that you could get over, i never realised how serious depression could lead to, even know im not really sure of what depression can mean or lead to. I myself, do not think i have gone through depression, yeah i sometimes whine about 'Im depresssed' but really its just issues LOL

I havnt been through serious depression myself, so sometimes im lost in words when my friends come to me about it, all i can do is just sit there and listen, i don't want to say anything accidently that might hurt their feelings. And to be straight im not going to go with the cliche 'you have to love yourself' , but should be at least like ourselves a little xP .

Friends and Families are there for a reason, to support you, but maybe sometimes you just want to think alone, cry for no reason, be upset over yourself for crying over nothing. I cant force a friend to talk to me if they don't want to, and i would probaly start crying, which i will also be upset for crying beacause of sympathy, where comparing to the accual problems is nothing and may sometimes seem insulting to the person. Im not a expert in this, but i don't want people to bottle it up, because one day, it'll explode, and it may be a crucial moments. If you feel like you're not ready to talk to a friend, maybe you can write it out, like in a blog (for me, my blogs are where i rage about issues i have), or write a letter and not accually send it. I know im blabbling on about nothing, but yeh =\ , just don't keep it inside of you, you don't always have to act strong as if nothings is wrong. Not everyone is strong nor independent, sometimes you havta lean on others that are there to support you.

well i think i stopped blabbling, so im off to shower and bed so i can go study tomorrow with ceewing darling, Sister Michael and My honey quyen.

gdnites swtdrms to the people who read this blog...oh and if you feel unloved...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥STELLA LOVES EVERYONE! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

xoxo